How to find the best coach for you

Choosing a coach is an incredibly personal decision. You’re not just hiring someone to help you reach your goals—you’re inviting them into your life to witness your challenges, celebrate your growth, and hold space for your transformation. Especially for neurodivergent individuals, finding the right coach can mean the difference between feeling truly seen and supported or feeling misunderstood and frustrated. So, how do you find a coach who’s the right fit for you? Here are some considerations to guide your search.

Start with your needs and values

Before you even begin looking for a coach, take some time to reflect. What are you hoping to gain from coaching? What feels most important to you in a coaching relationship? For example:

Do you need support navigating executive functioning challenges like planning, prioritizing, or time management?
Are you looking for someone who understands the nuances of masking and burnout?
Is it important that your coach shares or understands your cultural, gender, or neurodivergent identity?

Clarifying these needs will help you narrow your search and ensure the coach you choose aligns with your goals and values.

Look for a coach with similar experience

You may not like all the coaches you come across, maybe some of them annoy you or make you question your decision to try coaching. Not everyone is for you and that is a good thing. Also different coaches specialize in different areas. If you’re neurodivergent, you may benefit from working with a coach who explicitly focuses on neurodiversity. They’ll be familiar with the challenges you face and will likely have strategies tailored to your unique brain.

Key questions to ask:

Does the coach have experience working with neurodivergent clients?
Are they trained or certified in areas relevant to your needs, such as ADHD coaching, autism support, or trauma-informed care?
Can they provide testimonials or case studies that demonstrate their expertise?

Prioritize safety and transparent communication

Coaching is a vulnerable process. To fully engage, you need to feel comfortable and safe with your coach. This means finding someone who:

Creates a judgment-free space where you can unmask and show up as your authentic self.
Listens deeply and validates your experiences.
Respects your boundaries and autonomy.

Trust your intuition during initial consultations or discovery calls. Most coaches offer discovery calls free of charge, do as many as you like. If you don’t feel at ease with a coach, it’s okay to keep looking.

Consider your unique background

Your identity and lived experiences shape who you are and how you navigate the world. If it’s important to you, look for a coach who shares or is deeply informed about aspects of your background, such as:

Cultural or ethnic identity.
LGBTQIA+ experiences.
Intersectional identities, like being both neurodivergent and part of a marginalized community.

While not every coach needs to share your background to be effective, it can be incredibly affirming to work with someone who “gets it.”

Review their approach and philosophy

Every coach has their own style and philosophy. Some may focus on goal-setting and accountability, while others take a more exploratory and reflective approach. Make sure their methods resonate with you.

Questions to explore:

Do they work from a strengths-based perspective, focusing on your unique abilities rather than deficits?
Are their methods collaborative and tailored to your needs, or do they follow a rigid structure?
How do they define success in coaching? Does it align with your vision of growth?

Ask them questions

A great coach will welcome your questions and encourage open dialogue. Consider asking:

What does a typical session look like?
How do they handle challenges or setbacks?
What tools or strategies do they use to support clients?

The answers will give you a sense of their coaching style and whether it aligns with your preferences.

Take your time

At the heart of it, the best coach for you will be someone who sees you—not just your challenges, but your strengths, potential, and humanity. They’ll create a space where you can explore your path with curiosity and compassion, without judgment or pressure to conform.

Take your time. Trust your instincts. You deserve a coach who not only meets your needs but helps you thrive.

Elif Ozdemir